CK Lynn

You’re like a tyrant without manners. (does any tyrant have manners?) Don’t you have anything better to do? You crush the foundations that once were. You defined sorrow. Your victims ...

This was funny, but I think it would be better if it weren't all in dialouge. You can't really get a feel for the person if all you do is ...

This was...interesting. I can feel the emotion of the piece, but the ryhme made it seem silly, in a way. There isn't much thought in the poem, like what the ...

This was okay. Perhaps a bit cliche, with the guy this girl likes falling for someone else she knows. There could be more dialouge, showing who the friends are, instead ...

Great. Kind of mystical and Alice-in-Wonerlandy, with the way the narrator tells her story, like she doesn't realize ishe's truly died yet, or simply can't comprehend it. My favorite line ...

This was very good. I'm not sure about the repeating line, though. It makes it sound kind of like poetry, and I'm not sure if it really helps the piece. ...

I liked it a lot, up to the point where you say "and where I can breathe" Do you mean "where I CAN'T breathe?" That would make more sense. Also, ...

I really liked this! You know she's a flutist because she strikes up to join the rest of her band(the band, perhaps?) with her shoulders powdery white and bare despite ...

Um, I don't know if you missed the forum name or what, but this is the narrative POETRY (how do I do bold on this thing?!) but this is fiction. ...

This was very good. The subject was perhaps a bit cliche, but you presented it in a new way with refrehing vocabulary. The one phrase I didn't like was "I'll ...

It was okay. The was definately emotion, though the piece seemed flat, somehow. You tell us the character hates her job, instead of letting her show it. The character becomes ...

This was very different, dark and bittersweet. I liked the constant rythmn, very nice. This kind of reminds me of a song I heard in church..."I was there..." or something ...

I didn't really get where this poem was going. Is it an enviromental-type thing, or a metaphor for something else? The lack of topic detract from the piece, which, in ...

Yeah, I have no idea what overdraft is (some kind of tax-thing, she guesses?) but the poem itself was whimsical...no, a better word would be light-hearted, without being silly or ...

I rather liked this piece. The imagery was simple, although not in a crude way, and the over-passionated fakeness some love/breakup-type poems have was restrained here. The "And put knots ...